Seeking after the Jewel Part 2

"I will be found..."

In Ephesians Paul is on his knees praying in the power of the Holy Spirit that the church, his brothers and sisters in Ephesus would experience what God has poured out into him. He is on his knees before the Father, desperate that out of the glorious, marvelous, beautiful riches of God they would be strengthened  with power through the Spirit in their inner being. His desire was for the power of the Spirit to begin to move within them, giving strength. He wanted them to grab a hold of faith so that Christ would dwell inside them. 

Stop here for a second. Think about that. 

Having the very Spirit of the Most High God flow in your inner man...do you get this? Do you marvel at this mystery? Are you on your knees in a response of love? Paul prayed that they would be rooted and established(grounded) in His love that they would be filled with power from on high-power to actually grasp how wide and long and high and deeps is the love of Christ and to know this love, to love being loved by God...to know it with a knowledge that surpasses the minds capacity to know...he's talking about a deep spiritual knowledge of the depths of God's love for them. For us. For you. For me. Consider also, for a moment, the fullness of the Triune God. Think about in the Old Testament when God's presence descended upon the Temple...the power, the strength, the beauty of God filling the temple. The fullness of the divine, perfect, holy, lovely, pure, etc etc...this is Christ's desire-that we be consumed with the fulness of God.

    As you read this first paragraph of the blog you will see that what was on God's agenda for me in this retreat wasn't exactly my agenda, and thank goodness for that. He answered prayers that my heart has been praying for years...the work that He did was far deeper than just an answer to the next step in my journey. I don't know if many of you struggle and wrestle with belief that God could indeed have promises ready to be fulfilled in your life; that God could indeed love you as much as He says He does; that His eyes are set upon you...His gaze fixed on you. To have the faith to say with confidence  “I am my Beloved's and He is mine.” The question that resonated in me was deeper than “God, what do I do next?” But instead God had questions to ask me: "Are you made perfect in love? Do you believe? Will you receive my promises?” What God revealed to me was that He wanted me to believe Him. He wanted me to know that He keeps His promises. Out in front of me is the Promised Land, the promised inheritance for those who are in Christ, and the Lord is standing beside me saying “Look, all of this I give to you as an inheritance, in Christ you are given every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. It is awaiting you to go in and take possession of it. Do you believe me that this is yours? Do you believe? Will you receive it?” And here instead was the decision: Will I be like the people of Israel who lacked the faith that believed God could indeed give them this “promised” land or will I go in by faith and take possession of my inheritance? 

The answer was faith; belief that God is who He says He is. But this faith had to go beyond a conceptual understanding of what a life lived by the Spirit is to look like. It was actually saying, “OK this is what this looks like, but I WANT to experience it, to go further up and further in to the depths of the mysteries of God. I HAVE to, I NEED to.” As Paul said, “To know this love that surpasses knowledge-that I may be filled  to the measure of all the fullness of God.” This is more than knowledge. This is encounter, this is experience.
Christ's desire is for me to know the love of the Father, and to trust in this love. For this love that the Father has for the Son is the very same love that He has for me. Receiving this love does not come naturally, and neither does receiving all of the wonderful blessings of the Spirit that God wants to pour out into those who seek it. His blessings are for those who believe enough to ask for it and to receive it.  And in all of this God was saying “If I say I will do something, do not doubt but believe that I keep my promise. Believe that I will do it. Believe that I love you.”

As of 11:56 pm on Wednesday night I do not have a clear cut answer about this decision that I need to make, but so much more has been made clear to me. I still have before me the choice to take the way of Abraham and move forward out of faith even if I don't know where I am going, or if I am to wait in a season of intentional prayer for the Spirit of God to birth in me a vision for the nation He will send me into. But I am at peace because a freedom in my spirit has been released and the Lord reminded me that not only did he lay the calling to go into the nations to preach the gospel but he also has anointed my life with the calling of an intercessor. He confirmed in my spirit that a big part of my calling to the overseas mission will be to battle in prayer, to intercede and stand in the gap for the nation that he sends me to. Knowing this does bring clarity to what my next step must include. Receiving the confirmation of this in my spirit is more valuable than knowing a “yes” or "no."
I do believe however that I have enough wisdom and understanding from the Lord to go into tomorrow with a plan. Based on what the Lord has revealed to me, I have some questions that I need to be asking that could really help to clarify further. My plan is to be open and honest with my director about what the Lord revealed to me, how I intend to further pursue my call to intercession and what I feel is needed to develop that and a few other questions I have. I am at peace with this.