Yesterday, Longview, Texas received its biggest snowfall that they've seen in over 7 years...it may have been even longer! Most of us honestly didn't think that we'd get that much snow, but when the snow kept coming down and didn't stop until the afternoon of the next day, we became believers. I feel honored to have gotten a chance to experience such excitement among the East Texans as they enjoyed this first big snowfall. When I arrived home from work my roommate immediately approached me and said "it is snowman time. Get on your winter coat and let's go!"

          So, we bundled up and spent the next hour laughing, throwing snow and building, my first ever, "snow diva." I am used to making a "snowman" but according to Audra we were creating a diva. (For those of you who may be wondering what a "diva" is: it's a distinguished female singer...who is a bit sassy.)
It felt good to relax, to throw off the burdens that come with adulthood and ministry, and to become childlike again. The simplest pleasures in life really do bring satisfaction to the soul.

 

  

  

 

          

Thank you God for this wonderful blessing.
I know that many of you who are reading this have over 20 inches of snow in their area and are thinking...yeah right Summer, snow is anything but a blessing. :) Trust me, I know all about that attitude. But here where it is so rare, it truly is like a jewel.
Hope you enjoyed the photos!

The shaping

One of the verses that I have posted to my computer in my office is “I will give you the keys to the kingdom.” It is a promise from Jesus saying that if I focus my gaze and my intentions on Jesus Christ, it will be him who gives me the keys to unlocking his kingdom.
How tightly I must hold on to this promise if I will at all be effective for the Lord's kingdom. But let me share with you something else that the Lord showed me in reference to this verse:
I was worshiping with some friends of mine and one of the men in the group spoke to me during our time of prayer and said that an image of a “key” kept coming to his mind when he was praying for me. He went on to explain...In order for anyone to make a replica or an exact copy of the Master key, you have to grind the shape into the silver. And the sound of the grinding machine is unpleasant, with all it's shrieks and groans-it does sound quite painful. The idea is that the process of making a key in the Master's likeness is the shaving off of the excess portions, the carving and grinding of the exact shape. And the process is intricate.

Have you ever tried to use a key that “almost” looked like the master key? It doesn't work. The process has to be exact and precise, otherwise the replica is useless. God used this image and explanation to speak volumes to my soul and to my experience here in homeservice. I am called by God, through the process of sanctification, to bear the image of Christ, and for Christ to be formed in my inner being. I am to be made in the Likeness of Christ and just like the key, I have to go through the grinding and the "shaving off" so that I can become exactly like the Master key, my Master Jesus Christ. And if God is the key technician in whose hands I am being formed, I can trust that he won't make a mistake and accidentally move the key too much to the right or to the left in the grinding machine, rendering me “almost” like the master key but not quite, and thus utterly useless. But he holds me steady because his desire is for me to be exactly right, so that I am useful in unlocking the door/lock that he created me for. You see, Jesus does give the keys to the kingdom...but he also is the one who “makes” the keys as well, keys that bear his exact likeness to open the doors of the kingdom (to open the doors of the hearts that up to this point have been locked tight and are now ready to be opened.) Really, this image and truth is so incredible to ponder. And it makes what I go through bearable, knowing that there is a purpose in all that I face, in all the ways that I sense that I fail or am not quite good enough. To know that this is all a part of the “grinding” process so that the finished product is a key that fits into the doors of ministry that he has prepared for me.

Not enough light to reach the darkest places

A few weeks ago I was reading an article in the Alliance Life called “Light for the Lost.” It was an article about the desperate need for the people who are in darkness to have the light come to them to lead them back home. The article is written from the perspective of a woman, Carol Strong, whose husband and sons had found themselves lost in the woods when nighttime fell without any light source to guide them back home. She went on to explain her concern for her loved ones, stuck out there in the dark with no light. She decided to turn on all the lights in their home to act as a beacon, asked her neighbor to turn on all the lights in their home and drive out to the edge of the woods and point the high beam in the trees hoping that they could see the light and find their way home. But they did not return. Through much effort and time spent trying to get them home, Carol’s neighbor finally went out with a high beam light to where their cries were heard, found them and lead them back home. After reading this article I immediately saw where she was heading with her point. The church’s desire is to be the beacon of light. And the church building has become the house. We “light up” the whole house in hopes that people will see the light and come to us. Our intentions are pure in wanting to be a source of light, but it’s not enough light to reach into the darkest places. In the case of Carol’s family, the beacon (the light from the house) was not what saved the family. It was the neighbor, carrying the light to her family to guide them back to safety.Carol made a challenge to Christians that it isn’t enough just to light up the house and be a beacon; we can’t expect to stay inside the church walls, shine our lights and expect people to come to us. Carol asked her husband later “Steve, why didn’t you come toward the light?” And Steve answered “It was so dark where we were that the beam couldn’t reach us. The only way for us to get off that mountain was for someone with the light to come to us.” For many people today, it is so dark in their lives that the beam from the church can’t reach them. They need someone with a high beam to go and find them, offer the light to them to guide them back home, and walk with them during the journey.

Learning important life lessons

This morning I was enjoying the quiet ride to the Dallas Fort Worth Airport, watching as the sky began to shift colors, going from midnight blue to a softer shade of dark blue with whisps of white and gray clouds darting across the sky. The sun was on it's way...ready to introduce the already awakened travelers to the dawning of a new day. But even as I was enjoying the sight, there was a feeling in my gut that we had to hurry, like I was going to miss my flight. We were cutting it close, usually I like to arrive at the airport at least 1 1/2 hours before my flight, but this time I was getting there an hour before. My friend dropped me off at the American Airline ticket counter, I got out my itinerary, punched in my e-ticket number and saw that there was no record...I began to panick. so I started to look at my ticket closer and realized that my flight to Seattle was on Delta, it was my return trip that was on American....I looked at my watch, and 10 minutes had gone by. I rushed outside to catch the terminal link and had to wait some more. By the time I reached the right terminal, got to the desk, the man behind the desk said "Sorry ma'am, we've just closed that flight. You cannot get this flight." NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! What do I do? I'm supposed to be on that flilght...one of my best friends is getting married this week...I have to get to Seattle...the temptation to flip out was about to take over. The man behind the counter began to give me my options...the next flight was at 2pm-a good seven hours later. He could put me on standby, no guarantees but it was my only option right now. So, standby it is. I went over to the nearest bench and sat down..."God, now what?" And it was like He was saying to my spirit..."now you and I are going to work on a few things." Immediately my mind went to a prayer that I prayed last night before going to sleep. I asked the Lord for a divine appointment, for Him to connect me with someone who needs to hear about Christ, and for Him to give me an opportunity...that he would clearly guide me and give me boldness to share Christ. Once I remembered that prayer, I thought "Maybe the person God wants me to talk with isn't on that plane. Maybe there is someone on a different flight he wants to connect me with." With that thought in my mind, I started to calm down and I began to realize that though it isn't convienent, there could be grander reasons why I missed that flight. And maybe God doesn't have someone lined up for me to talk with, and if not, that's okay too. But the lesson learned is that God isn't just in the big stuff. He's in the little things. He's in the way I treat the man behind the counter, he's sovereign-even when in the midst of confusion and making mistakes on not leaving early enough to catch my flight. God isn't just a theology to believe in. He's my God, and where I go, He goes with me. I can trust Him. These are such simplistic things...but how often do we just charge ahead, unaware of the God's presence with us? How often do we head to the airport, get our stuff together, confirm our ticket, do our thing our way, get really upset if we miss our flight or it gets cancelled and not even realize that God has a purpose for what we do, for where we are...we are so accustomed to take care of ourselves and just live life and call on God when something big has happened...but I think He wants to be recognized in the small things, to be exalted in everything. Has God's love left me? No. Has God somehow been disproved to be sovereign because I missed my flight? No. Does God want us to trust Him in all things? Yes. Even things as small as missing a flight? Yes. Having the Lord settle my heart and help me to let go of worrying about the details is huge. Trust in the Lord with All your heart. And lean not on your own understanding, but in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. I'm trusting for the Lord to be directing my path in a very real and tangible way right now, and also seeing Him work out some details on my behalf, as I sit and wait to find out if I'll be able to get on the next flight.
One of the psalmist proclaimed: "I exalt you because your Name is near." I realized that anytime that the word name is capitalized it signifys that as the place where God has intentionally put His presence...it is the place that He chooses to reside. And I was am contemplating that verse right now, it helps me to know that God has place His Name, His presence within me. He has chosen to dwell with me and in, which makes Him near to me...always. In really tough times, and in the silly stupid times when you miss your flight. :) His Name is near. And that to me, is a great comfort.

Seasons of relentless pursuit

It is the middle of May, which means that I have now been in Texas for 9 months, and that I'm about to head into the "energy depleting" heat of the summertime. The summer heat does in fact take a toll our our bodies and often causes more of a weary feeling, especially in the dense humidity like we experience...but instead of letting this lethargic and weary feeling overtake us, especially spiritually, we want to see God use "heat" similar to the "tongues of fire" image at Pentecost to spur us on toward a fiery zeal to reach into our community. I believe this is what He wants from those who are called His children. Isn't it one of the biggest reasons why we have the filling of the Holy Spirit? So we can receive the power from on high to spread the glory of the gospel of Jesus Christ?

I just got back from an amazing time of community with fellow leaders and believers whose hearts are incredibly passionate about prayer and about spreading the truth of God's redemption. It was a weekend of prayer and soaking in the powerful word of God. Who knew that prayer could be so fulfilling? God must look down on us and wonder why we limit this divine opportunity we have to be in communion with our Father. I heard it said once from Jim Cymbala (the pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle in New York City) that God has a banquet table filled with things that will satisfy the soul, with every spiritual blessing from the heavenly places, filled with everything we need for life and godliness, and so much more, and is just waiting to pour it out on us. God says in Isaiah, "Come! Come to me, taste and see that I am good. Come, buy milk and bread without cost! Taste the richest of fare!" It's just waiting for us to come. God is waiting to pour it out over us, but there is one stipulation...we must come to him; abide continually in him and ask for these things in faith. But how hard it seems to be for us to transfer this from the realm of thought to the realm of reality. This has been a lesson that God has kept me in for many years. I feel like I move forward in understanding it, then fall back, then move forward, then fall back. Sigh.

Another brother in the faith, Mike Bickle, from the International House of Prayer spoke a bit on why it seems to be so hard to feel victory in prayer, and this idea is what I took away with as encouragement:
When you begin to sow to the Spirit and devote yourself to a lifestyle of prayer you will experience a season of obedience without joy, a season of discipline without desire, in which you are crying out "LORD! I AM HERE, YOU SAID TO SEEK YOU AND THAT I'LL FIND YOU BUT YOU ARE HIDDEN. LORD! LORD! I'M PRAYING, WHY DO YOU SEEM SO FAR?-(it's what happens when you have to say no to the flesh and yes to the spirit, it's a time of conditioning yourself to the life of the spirit, no longer submitting to the flesh and of stripping yourself of, well, you).....it takes time and devotion but they are only seasons. After these seasons of what seems to be desireless and lifeless prayer but prayers kept in persistence, obedience and discipline you will begin to see a breakthrough in which light bursts forth in prayer, and you begin to feel the stirring of life and abundance...you will begin to encounter what it means to have streams of living water flowing through you, instead of the stagnant, bacteria infested water. He prefaced these thoughts with the reality that it took him two years of relentless prayers that weren't seasoned with desire before he felt the breakthough, but it came, and when it came it transformed his life.
In our culture we are so used to receiving things instantly, but I think God wants to see if we're serious about this lifestyle change..prayer and living by the spirit takes discipline and the hard work of denying "self" before we see the benefits of the fruit.

I'm just encouraged that God seems to still be revealing himself to me, and even more that He's speaking to my soul about his plans for me. It's truly magnificant that God is so close to my heart. For truly, who am I?

Candid images: pictures of everyday thoughts

Hope Haven-it's a hiding place of sorts. Women arrive defeated on the doorsteps of this haven. They are women, worn by the depravity of this world, who have said yes one too many times to it's pleasures only to be caught in a snare that wounds them even more. They are overwhelmed and oppressed by the choices they make, enslaved by their consequences. They look exhausted. They look heavy, and weary, hardened like stone. Here a paradigm begins to shift. Some grasp a hold of the shift and feast on it, others run from it, incapable of letting such change take root in them.

I've been given the amazing opportunity to catch a glimpse of the joy that is being cultivated into the heart and life of one of the women in this haven. And my interaction with her left the phrase of King David to resonate in my heart: "Restore to me the joy of thy Salvation!!!!" How many of us still feel that excitement of salvation? The thrill of being rescued from the dominion of darkness and being brought into his marvelous light? She is hungry. She is thirsty for more of the Lord, even though most of the time Scripture is over her head....she doesn't toss it aside and say forget this nonsense, but she strives to make sense of it, she seeks out people who will help her understand. She gives testimony to the Lord about how He met her need very practically, And in our bible studies her eyes fill with tears because the Lord just revealed His will to her through something that was said or read. But most of all, the joy just radiates from her. She has hope again. God has been her shield, the lifter of her head. It's written all over her face. Salvation had come to her and she clings to it.
I am reading the book "The pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer and the first chapter of the book is titled "Following hard after God." And it seems that this woman who has had everything stripped away from her, including her children, has made room in her life for God, and not only has she accepted him but she is following hard, striving, after God. It's not a ginger walk through the park, but an uphill climb on jagged rock cliffs. A.W. also talks about this idea of God revealing himself to "little children" and keep his way hidden from the wise. This woman is a little child in her faith, and she seems to be hearing from the Lord in ways that I want to be hearing from him and can't. Have I somehow given myself permission to slack off in my pursuit of God because of my 20 plus years as a christian and participating in church? Because of my bachelor's and master's degree at a bible and theology school? Have I unknowingly replaced a simple child like faith that would enable me to see the revelations of Christ with a wisdom that lacks any passion or revelation? And ultimately lacks the faith necessary for these revelations? How does one grow up in faith, yet still keep the childlikeness that opens the way for the revelation of Christ? How do we keep ourselves from becoming like the pharisees? Becoming wise in the ways of God, but yet completely miss that God is standing in our midst? God forbid that this would happen to any of us! Questions I find myself asking: Do I long for God like I long for water? Do I long for God like I long to be satisfied in my job or in ministry? Do I long for God like I long for that morning cup o' joe? Do I long for him more than I long to have a husband? And if the answer is no...when did my longing cease? Why has it ceased? And what are the implications of a ceased longing?

I will end these provocations with something from this chapter by A.W. Tozer:

"I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God. The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate. The stiff and wooden quality of our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of our spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people. He wants to be wanted. Too bad that with many of us He waits so long, so very long, in vain."

well...I did something a bit risky, about a month ago. I went dark. I decided one evening, that I wanted to be able to control something in my life and needed a change (and hair often is the easiest thing to change) so I went to the store and purchased dark brown hair dye and if you look to the right, you'll see the outcome. It makes me feel a bit more mysterious! Not so predictable or ordinary. Just thought I would share this wonderful information with you all. :) Now you can all sleep better at night.