So...how are you adjusting?

How is life in Germany different than life in America? Are you adjusting ok? Do things feel normal?

I am so thankful that people are asking these questions-but often I find myself at a loss for words...life is different coming back to the USA after fours away with no return in between, but can I really put it into words how it's different? I am adjusting, and I think I'm doing an okay job, but things definitely don't feel normal-although each day does get a little bit better.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs, "a life overseas" and they had this list of "you know you are going through home culture readjustment issues when" and the list ensues...I laughed out right as I read through the list because I kept saying "Yes! Yes, that's me! Oh my goodness, yes!" Finally I had words to put to these questions people where asking...so I decided to cut and paste some of the list and then add my own "Germany specific" ones (which are bold typed). For all of you who have asked and I've given you a blank stare or a "ummm...I don't know" answer, here is your satisfaction:

1. Your passport is your preferred form of ID.
2. You comment on how cheap gas is in the US.
3. You gasp in shock when your at the supermarket and see how much the cheese costs.
4. You walk in to the chocolate section of Aldi (a German supermarket) expecting to find Rittersport and Milka chocolate only to have your heart sink when they are no where to be seen. 
5. Your CNN web page is set on “International.”
6. You find out that living overseas is not the top qualification employers are looking for.
7. You think Americans are loud.
8. You find out people still use checks to pay bills...and then:
9. You have to ask how to write a check.
10. People say, “football,” and you ask, “Which kind?”
11. You don’t know how to respond when people say, “I bet you’re glad to be back home.
12. You prefer to hear news reports from someone with a British accent. (this one is really true!!!)
13. You stand in awe that there is a “public water fountain” offering water for free. 
14. You turn on the subtitles on an English movie because you don’t want to miss anything.
15. You wonder if “organization” should be spelled with an s.
16. You just realize that the reason why everyone is looking at you with a blank stare is that you unknowingly had switched to conversing in your second language.
17. You stop bringing your bi-lingual Bible to church.
18. You just smile at people who say, “So I guess you’re all settled in now.”
19. You think the public schools are great because the teachers are all proficient in English.
20. You hand the cashier at Wal-Mart your credit card instead of swiping it yourself.
21. You have to ask if you should bring a gift with you when invited over for dinner.
22. You aren't sure if you should shake hands, hug or kiss the person you are meeting on the cheek. 
23. You’re a bit startled when the cashier packs your groceries for you, or when there is a “bagger” who then bags your groceries and THEN pushes your cart out to your car, and loads it into your trunk for you.
24. You ask your friends to take off their shoes when they enter your home.
25. People ask where you’re from and your not sure how to answer.
26. You realize that Taco Bell isn’t quite as good as you remembered it.
27. You look forward to mowing the lawn, because you have a lawn.
28. You say “here” and you mean the US, not the town you’re in.
29. You realize that the fashionable “genie pants” that are all the rave in your host culture are in fact NOT fashionable here. 
30. You set all your digital clocks to military time.
31. When talking about distances you use the metric system.
32. Airports feel like home.
33. You tell your waiter, “I’d like my water/soda without ice please.
34. You get nervous going to the doctor, paying the bill at the restaurant or buying tickets at the movie theater, because you forgot what the “rules” are.

List taken from "You Remember You're a Repat When..." by Craig Thompson
(http://www.alifeoverseas.com/you-remember-youre-a-repat-when/)

Bold and italicized added by Summer Hartzler

After a 2 year hiatus from blogging, I figured it was about time to put my fingers to the keys and let the creativity flow again. Hopefully this will also be a good exercise to get my brain working intelligently again in English. My German is improving everyday, and my Denglish is pretty great too, but somehow my English has taken a back seat and I can't quite seem to get in the vocabulary groove...thus I return with high hopes to increase those English speaking/writing brain cells once more.

Trust. It's a word that is frequently used within in the English language, and it's a word that is central to the survival or destruction of relationships within our human existence. There are cultures that exist where the word "trust" is not in it's foundations, but rather "trickery, deceit and betrayal" take it's place in how to relate. They say this, but they really mean this. They will not keep their promise. They will betray me. Will they harm me, though they say they intend good for me?
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that these questions aren't just asked in this culture built on trickery, but they are questions that almost every human being asks, and though trust is bounced about in the English language like a ping pong ball, it is a most essential need that needs to be met in every form of relationship within a given society. One needs to know that others intend good and not harm, they need to be able to trust this if the relationship (of any form) is to develop; one needs to know that if they release themselves to someone else, that this person will in fact catch them and not let them fall; one needs to know that if they share their heart with someone, that the other person will not take it and crush it.
And haven't we all experienced pain from trusting others who did the very thing we trusted them not to do? And doesn't that often then jade us into thinking that if it happens once, it will happen again and again and again? And so then we stop trusting people so easily, shutting ourselves off to potential relationships because of fear that this person will not be trustworthy. If I can be honest, this has been me in certain areas in my life, and not just with other humans, but also how I've felt towards God, the one in whom is perfect love, the one in whom I should never doubt and always trust because He is always faithful to his promises. He is the only one in whom we can put all our trust and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that his intentions for us are good...but somehow through some of life's most difficult challenges for me, I've found myself looking into a mirror that Jesus holds up and admitting that I've struggled to trust Him, and that I've withheld parts of myself from him, and have been afraid of taking certain risks in life and ministry because of it. And oh what a heart-breaking revelation that is, to hear the voice of Jesus say gently but sternly to you..."You don't trust me."
Sometimes, in my line of work, I look around at all of those workers who have been serving on the field for years and years, who are veterans in their service to jesus and I think that I am alone in this weakened state of trust but after talking openly with others who have been on the same journey as me and who have been journeying a lot longer, that they too struggle with trusting...we have not yet been completely perfected...we do not yet see clearly, and so in our skewed vision is a lack of understanding that leads to lack of trust...and I think maybe Solomon understood this too, for he gave us a Proverb that spoke exactly to this need for trust (that is also bounced around like the bouncy ball above the words in a sing-a-long dvd)...Let's say it together "Trust in the Lord, with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." It's my own understanding, it's my own perception of things and the fear that leads me astray, that leads me into not trusting. So the road that lies ahead of me right now, is learning to and committing to trust Jesus in those sensitive areas of my life that I've kept from him, and in the risks of life and ministry that I have been afraid to take.
"For a day in your courts is better than 10,000 outside. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God then dwell in the tents of the wickedness. For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of Hosts, how BLESSED is the man who TRUSTS in you!~ Psalm 84:11

Wash me in the Water

I'm standing on what appears to be a diving board, my feet on the edge of the board ready to dive-but wait, it isn't water that lies before me. I look down and what awaits me is the Word of God. Without hesitancy I dive face first into the Scriptures, sinking deep, not holding my breath but instead inhaling everything as I dive-allowing for the Scriptures to consume my lungs. And then I started to resurface and once I got back up to the surface I just started swimming in the Word...and it was as if the water lines of the Word were unending, no matter how far to one edge I would swim, it just kept reaching out into the horizon, taking me further and further-I just kept swimming and with every stroke that I made a page turned with it-so smooth, so steady, so graceful. 
The scene quickly changed and I was getting out of the "water." I reached down to grab my towel and pulled it up into the air-it became the German flag-and then carefully laid it down on the ground. I fell to my knees on top of the German flag and with my face pressed down against the flag I began to intercede for Germany-prayers were rising up into the heavens, but you couldn't actually hear my prayers, instead you could see them rising up in the air...they were in the shape of music notes. Coming out of my heart and mouth were songs of prayer over the country of Germany. 

Pretty powerful. These images were given to Val, a friend of mine, as her and another friend, Shelly, were interceding for me. I was blown away at the detail described, but also by images themselves and the volume at which they spoke to my soul. It is so very clear through this the emphasis God is making on the importance of being consumed by His Word, being washed by His Word, making every stroke in sync with the Word; His Word is Eternal, without Limit, no end. It is through this that I will then be able to intercede for Germany, not just in prayer, but that out of my mouth will flow songs for Germany. I believe that what this is saying to me is that through my Abiding in Christ will come a heart of intercession for the people of Germany and that some how God will use the music and songs in my heart to serve and to minister to them. Maybe even to break down strongholds-music under the anointing of the Holy Spirit and in collaboration with the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God is an effective tool to tear down strongholds...if this is your will Lord, so let it be. Like I said...powerful...humbling...a great responsibility.
And a wonder and a mystery that God speaks to us the way He does...this reminds me of a song that I love...called Small Enough by Nicole Nordeman. Here is a link to the song if you would like to listen:
http://www.myspace.com/nicholenordeman/music/songs/small-enough-this-mystery-album-version-33875635

He hears us when we pray, He longs to reveal His heart and His will-now the question is...what will I do with what I've been given and this knowledge of His will?

New Experiences

Pictures from my trip to Wernigeroda Germany in December. A good look at a typical German town-completely different from Berlin.

Change personified.

For years, "Change" and I have been good friends. We've journeyed the road of life together, anticipated the adventure that was just over the horizon. In the beginning, "Change" was exciting and I couldn't wait to start a new adventure with her. She'd arrive and say excitedly, "Come on, we have so much more to discover together, experiences to have that will make you a better person." I loved it when she came knocking. But over the last few years as "Change" and I have traveled these winding roads, I realized they became more slippery, rocky, uncertain and required 'more of me'. To her credit though, when we came to the end of each journey I felt as if my perspective of the world, and of myself was deeper, more meaningful, more complete. I would emerge feeling stronger and more steady. However, I don't forget the times when I felt lost, fearful, uncertain about where she was leading, and not  confident that I could actually make it. At times it seemed too hard, even though in the end I was shown triumph and victory.

I can't escape that "Change" is persistently knocking on the door of my life. I know it's there, and so many times I've walked toward to door, reaching for the knob to let it in, but then my mind starts imagining how it will invade every part of my life, and my hand stops mid-air; then retreats. I stand on one side of the door, "Change" on the other, waiting to be let in. It's ironic really, how I anticipate the arrival of "Change," but then reluctant to release myself.

How often this is the case also when Jesus beckons us to come to him to find life, to walk the many roads with Him. We long for it, but then often we are reluctant to release ourselves to him, even when we know that on the other end is life and fulfillment. We hold on to the old wineskins, resisting that which is new because it is unknown; and that...makes us uncomfortable.

Schönes Deutschland

Thanks to the wonderful and intelligent world of APPLE, I have been able to put together a video filled with photos of places I have visited during these last three months, and also just scenes from life here in Berlin. I hope that this helps you see a glimpse of my everyday here...Also Several weeks ago I got the opportunity to travel to Dresden to cheer on my team mate Don as he subjected himself to his very first full blown marathon. The whole team decided to make a weekend of it, to keep the camaraderie amongst us strong...plus it was a great opportunity to see other cities in East Germany and for me to gain more "cultural knowledge."

Also, because my brain seems to be working on overload with cultural adjustments and learning the language (I'm typing this while my brain seems to be speaking loudly "stop using me...I'm done.), my blog posts seem to be few and far between and are more photos than ramblings about my experiences here. I am hoping soon that my mind will remember how to speak creatively instead of grammatically-all that seems to be coming to my mind right now is "do I use 'zu' in this context or 'dass'? What endings go on the adjectives and in what situation do I conjugate the verbs and which situations do I not?" Not much creativity seems to be spilling out these days...so, hence I give you pictures. That way, you can use your imagination to create stories of your own. :D

Along the Streets of Berlin

In the first few weeks of Berlin I set aside my camera in order to withstand the urge to be "touristy." I didn't want to view Berlin in the eyes of a tourist, but I wanted to experience Berlin like any normal Berliner would...so, I set foot to figuring out the grocery stores that I liked (Kaufland, Rewe, Kaisers and yes indeed ALDI), getting myself a mobile phone, registering at the Rathaus (city hall) in the city of Berlin, setting up a bank account, figuring out the intricate Bahn-system (Public transportation), buying flowers to put on my new balcony, going to IKEA to buy things for the apartment, etc. etc. With all of that, plus starting language school, and trying to get on the right sleeping schedule there wasn't too much time in the first two weeks to be a tourist...and for that I am very glad. I've realized that there is a mentality that goes along with "tourist." To be a tourist is to be spectator-to remain on the outside of the culture gazing in; to not venture in deeply to experience the good and the not so good of the culture in which you find yourself. It's usually the glamourous places that the tourist wants to see, to snap a few shots, chalk it up to another place visited and a potential story to tell children or grandchildren when they ask what you've seen in life...but aren't the best stories the ones where you dig a bit further in than just "saying" you've seen a place. Don't the meaningful stories come from letting the smells, the tastes, the sounds, and the history, impact your senses? Too many times I've been guilty of living a "tourist" life.
Within the last week, I did get a chance to get out to "see the city." But as I went, I made an effort to think about the places I was going, to not just take the photo, but to consider the life that is lived or the life that can be had in each place. Berlin, and it's surrounding areas is a city given to History. So much has taken place here...let me introduce you to a few of those places.

Along Strelitzer Straße:

If you can see the posts sticking up out of the ground, you will see that this is where the Berlin Wall once stood-separating the East from the West-cutting many off from family and close friends. 

 And here is the actually remnants of the Berlin Wall that are still standing. 

It is said that no one had a clue that the separation was coming. One night everyone went to sleep and the next day, Barb wired fences were built cutting you off from the other side-no warning, no chance to say goodbye. 

 After the Barbed wire came the Wall...many were killed trying to cross the wall.

 Today it still stands...reminding people of what once was.

 This is my street-Strelitzer Straße. In the distance you see the TV tower-which was built by the communists while controlling East Berlin. The Russians wanted a visual reminder of how powerful they were-they wanted all of Berlin, not just the East side to see and to remember.

The place where my life is lived...welcome to my apartment. :)

 Here is my lovely balcony-Here I have had many moments of silence while sipping on my morning cup of Joe. 

 The view of the courtyard from my balcony-the place where many children play and people sit and talk.

My lovely roommate, Natalie and I.

Along the Brandenburg Gate:

 Years ago, this was the main entrance into the city-a thoroughfare, if you will, with a purpose. Now it is merely a memorial, a place for tourists. Again, seeing this makes me wonder what the days were like back when Berlin was divided.

 It is truly a powerful and magnificent structure!

Along the Holocaust Memorial:

 One starts off walking through these concrete slabs and they are ankle high...then they become knee high, then waist high-one is still able to see those others who are wandering around...but then the deeper you go, the less you can see the others around you...

 You find yourself alone, with the slabs now way over your head...walking through these aisles that seem to touch the "lonely" part of the human soul.

 This photo makes me think of all the feet that walked the pavements of the concentration camps, those who died without cause, without reason. It's sobering.

The artist gave no description of why he created this memorial the way he did...I guess maybe he wanted to leave room for what ideas and thoughts come to the individual mind as they journey through this memorial to what once was.

*There will be more pictures to come in the next few entries...